FAIRBORN, OH — In a shocking turn of holiday events, the Easter Bunny has found himself in some egg-stra hot water after what authorities are calling “a total candy catastrophe.”
Fairborn police say they received a flurry of complaints Sunday morning about subpar sweets delivered in colorful baskets across town. Among the offenses: stale chocolate bunnies, off-brand jelly beans that may or may not have been recycled from Halloween, and marshmallows that had the consistency of a rubber shoe insert.
“This was a sweet situation gone sour,” said one officer, while nibbling on what he claimed was a very suspicious chocolate egg. “You can’t just hand out candy like that and expect to hop away scot-free.”
Witnesses report the Bunny was apprehended peacefully, though he did attempt a brief getaway by hiding in a bush shaped like a giant Peep.
No official word on bail, but sources close to the floppy-eared fugitive say he’s pulling some strings with a few sympathetic tooth fairies and hopes to be out in time for next year’s festivities.
Until then, let this be a warning: if you’re handing out candy, make sure it’s the good kind—your freedom may depend on it. 🍬🕵️♂️💥
#BustedBunny #SweetToothScandal #HoppyNotHappy #FairbornFunnyFiles #EasterDrama
